Overheard around campus

Guy: “I think we’re almost to Dinkytown.”

—Stadium Village

Professor: “If I went to a hotel with my wife and found a bottle of gin waiting in the icebox, my wife would say that they know me a little bit too well.”

—Carlson School of Management

Professor: “If we plot penetration as a function of length …”

—Akerman Hall

“Is two inches not enough? Will it even fit?” [Talking about putting paper into a binder]

—Coffman Union

‎Guy to girl: “I’m going to be blatantly honest with you — I smoke a lot of pot.”

—Science Teaching and Student Services building

Guy to another guy: “… and finally the one date we actually went on alone happened in the woods.”

—Washington Avenue Bridge

“I always see him on the bus. I consider myself like a stage-five stalker!”

—Bus

“Aaron, what are you WATCHING?! It looks like PORN!”

—Outside Bierman Apartments

Guy: “The fire alarm is going off, like everybody’s out front right now!”

Guy 2: “Well hey, if the fire reaches here, we can just walk out that door. Not too worried about it.”

Girl: “There isn’t really anything flammable in here anyway …”

—Comstock Dining Hall