"Eat my testicle, frisbee!"
"That was the most awkward jump into someone elseâÄôs arms IâÄôve ever seen."
"Starcraft: ItâÄôs how Koreans have sex."
âÄîMechanical Engineering building
"Yes, people, sexual intercourse does burn calories. But donâÄôt worry, you guys only last a few minutes so it doesnâÄôt even matter."
âÄîExercise physiology class
"IâÄôm in no condition to drive. Wait! I shouldnâÄôt listen to myself, IâÄôm drunk!"
"I wish you would have played with the caulk more âÄ¦"
âÄîRegis Center for Art
Guy: "ItâÄôs always like this and weâÄôre not even married!"
Girl: "Eww! I would never marry you!"
Professor: "No sleeping. I have snore sensors around the room."
"I hate these shits and giggles classes ... I donâÄôt shit or giggle, I just cry!"
Guys (talking about pyramids and Egypt): "If I was an alien I would be getting AâÄôs in all my classes."
"You can like whatever you want, as long as itâÄôs not bestiality."
"I saw my life flash before my eyes! And my first thought was LADY GAGA!"
"Shaving your pubes in a strip is apparently homosexual ... I got called out on that once."
"I want to go home and make love to my pillow."
Guy 1: "I canâÄôt wait to go see Tron in 3-D when IâÄôm super drunk!"
Guy 2: "Dude, that movieâÄôs PG, there will be little kids there."
Guy 1: "Fine, IâÄôll bring some of those little hotel bottles of liquor for the kids, too."