Dear Dr. Date,
Have you heard about Tinder Social? It’s that new thing where groups of people can post themselves on Tinder to see if other people are interested in joining them in whatever they’re doing. 
I think it’s a completely fascinating concept, and I kind of want to check it out. I would love to hang with some new people to expand my social circle, and I definitely wouldn’t complain if it led to a good hookup. 
So what do you think, Doc? Is this something worth investigating?
Dear Dr. Date,
Sorry, this is kind of TMI but I don’t know who else to turn to: I smell really bad. It’s not just a post-workout stink or something understandable like that — it’s a constant, underlying unpleasant odor that I’ve had for as long as I can remember. 
Dear Dr. Date,
I feel weird saying this, but I’m 21 years old, and I don’t “get” sex. I’ve only been sexually active for the past half year or so, and I thought by now I would finally understand why everyone likes it so much. The truth is, though, that the handful of times I’ve tried to do the deed have been confusing and not particularly pleasurable. 
Dear Dr. Date,
I’ve been getting pretty serious with this one guy. After about 20 dates, I can safely say that I feel good about how things are going between us. In fact, I’m starting to feel like I should introduce him to my family. Here’s the thing, though: We met through Tinder.
Dear Dr. Date,
My close friend is really effing up, Doc. He’s been hanging out with this one girl who has a boyfriend in Spain, and they plan to attend a friend’s wedding together in a few weeks. 
Basically, it’s just about guaranteed that this girl is going to cheat on her boyfriend with my friend. Even worse, my friend is counting on this to happen because he really wants to get his dick wet. Yeah, I know, he’s being kind of a douche right now.
Dear Dr. Date,
I’ve been seeing this one guy for a few weeks now and things have been weird. The things I like about him so far are as follows: He’s cute, he skates (love) and he is really funny. Things I dislike about him are as follows: He lives half an hour away and doesn’t have a car, so I end up driving a ton whenever we hang out, and he might be really dumb. 
Dear Dr. Date,
I recently graduated and moved on to the big leagues in more than a couple ways. I’m working a few part time jobs, getting my money up and living in my own apartment. You know, grown-up stuff. I’m even dating this totally gorgeous woman who’s a few years older, so it’s like I’m taking my love life to the big leagues, too.
“Guy 1: “You’re being sassy!”
Guy 2: “No, YOU’RE being sassy!”
Guy 1: “Dude, you put the SASS in sassy!”
—Unknown
 
Professor: “We were invaded by Alaska. Never quote me on anything about history.”
—Tate Lab
 
Tour Guide: “Make sure you wave at the college students; they like the attention.”
—Unknown
 
“I nicked my nipple shaving with a picture.” 
—Middlebrook dining hall
 
Girl: “Oh my gosh!
 
Professor: “Sixty-five degrees and you guys act like oversexed teenagers!”
—STSS
 
Officer: “We’re gonna need more cars.”
—Dinkytown
 
Drunk guy being chased by riot police: “DUDE, I SAID NO TAGBACKS!”
—Unknown
 
“If we win, we riot. If we lose, we riot. If the U cancels Spring Jam over this, we riot.”
—Coffman Union
 
Person 1: “My son is taking medicine to increase his appetite since he’s such a picky eater.”
Person 2: “Oh, really? What is it, medical marijuana?”
—Walter Library
 
TA: “I was supposed to be studying, but instead, I just spent 10 minutes looking at cowboy boots on Etsy!”
—Unknown
 
Guest speaker: “A lot of what I’m saying here may or may not be true.”
 —Ecology class
 
Professor: “If anyone shares the exam questions, I will find you and cut you into pieces.”
—Moos Tower
 
Professor: “Don’t eat your crayons if you want to be a vegetarian.”
—Ruttan Hall
 
“Had like 10 things to post on ‘Overheard’ this semester, but I ain’t no snitch.”
 —Unknown
 
“What’s ‘earl sweatshirt?’”
Professor: “It’s the same with travel manuals and porn. I’d rather do it myself than watch someone else do it.”
—Nicholson Hall
 
Girl to her friend: “Hold on, I have to Instagram my first iced drink of 2014.”
—Starbucks
 
Girl: “Look! It’s soil! SOIL! We can plant things in it!”
 —McNeal Hall
 
Girl: “Guys! My piss was clear!”
—McDonald’s
“You talked a big game all week, and then you didn’t even show up to White Castle!”
—Amundson Hall
 
Guy 1: “Are we gonna make bro tanks for the trip?”
Guy 2: “No.”
Guy 1: “We’re wearing bro tanks on the trip.”
Guy 2: “If you wear a bro shirt, I will set you on fire.”
—Bio-Medical Library
 
Professor: “Nobody walks into a room naked. It’s not as exciting as a strip tease.”
Minnesota Daily Serving the University of Minnesota Community since 1900