Dateopia, This is an urgent call to arms! Network’s visa is up for renewal in August and I need your help to get it denied. Think about it, a fresh start for the Daily with no Network. If you don’t do it for yourself, at least do it for the incoming freshmen. Don’t make them needlessly suffer. Please send me letters of support and I will print them to rally our cause!
Dr. Date,
Just last week my fiancee and I decided to call it off. She offered the ring back and i took it. Most of our issues have stemmed from financial problems and everything else trickled down into tension. We moved into an apartment last June and since then I have paid for probably 90 percent of the bills as well as her 'feminine necessities' like makeup and such. Tension grew and grew up till this boiling point and now I'm wondering what to do. She is currently living at her mother’s but constantly tells me that whatever I decide to do that it will make her happy even though i know it is killing her on the inside. I'm wondering what I should do? I know every story you hear is different than the next but there is this part that says to take her back because I still love her, and there is another part of me that is denying the inevitable that her laziness will come through again. I mean I'm 22 and just broke off an engagement! Aren’t these the years when I'm supposed to be partying and having fun instead of working two full-time jobs and school full time? Still, I can’t imagine life without her.
—S
S,
What is this, a spy movie where everyone goes by code names? In that case I want to be called D2nM2, you’re a clever one if you can decipher that code. Enough of my dreaming about being in a Bond movie, let’s talk about you. I’m going to borrow a few inspirational words from some very wise men. “She sits on her ass, he works his hands to the bone. To give her money every payday, she wants more dinero just to sit at home. Well my friend you gotta say, I WON’T PAY, Why Don’t you get a job?” Who knew the Offspring could help you with your life’s problems? Yes, these are the years you should be having fun if you want to. That doesn’t mean you can’t have a HEALTHY serious relationship. You working two jobs while she does practically nothing is not healthy. You were right to listen to those warning flags. I’m not against the man-brings-home-the-paycheck-and-the-woman-takes-care-of-the-house scenario. However, that requires that both partners are OK with that and are willing to do equal amounts of work. It sounds like this girl will be sitting on her tush waiting for you to come home and make dinner. You can’t imagine life without her right now, but you’ll get there if you want to. It’s not impossible to rectify this situation, but it’s going to take a major wake-up call and work on her end.
— D2nM2
Dearest Doctor,
I have this problem. You see, I've been dating this guy for about three months now and he's absolutely perfect. He's the biggest gentleman I've ever met (always opens the door for me, takes me out on the most romantic dates ever, never forgets to say please or thank you), plus my parents are in love with him. Now you see, this all sounds good and gravy, except for the fact that I've never dated a guy like this. I'm the type of girl who is never single, has a new boyfriend typically every couple of months, and has mastered “dealing with jerks.” Just my luck, as soon as I've mastered them, I find an angel. This guy is the sweetest person I have ever met, and would never do anything to hurt me. The problem is, I'm so used to playing the players, I don't want to hurt this one. Sometimes I find myself being a complete b---- simply because it's what I've been used to in order to counter the jerks. Doc, you've got to help me! What can I do to tame my defensive instincts and simply enjoy the man I finally deserve?
—Lucky Catch
Lucky,
Ah yes, the exciting world of mind games that is dating. The first thing you need to realize is that this guy is not your other relationships, which is easier said than done. Try not to instantly react to something he does that makes you mad. Instead, try to imagine how you would want him to act if you upset him in a similar way. This is a somewhat good exercise, but don’t become a pushover either. You want to be assertive with your desires and feelings, not aggressive. This should get easier with time, as you realize he isn’t a douche like your other boyfriends. Above all, just tell him why you sometimes freak out at him. Make sure to mention the part that you think he’s a really great guy. It will help him to understand that you’re trying to work through old habits to become a better girlfriend.
—DD
