Dr. Date,
My boyfriend and I met before summer and had all of summer’s free time to just have fun and hang out.
Now that school has started and he has a million other things to do, I feel like I’m always the one that tries to see if we can hang out — which only happens once or twice a week for about an hour or so.
Dr. Date,
This summer, I started dating a girl I worked with (yeah, great idea).
I had never clicked so well with a girl before, both emotionally and physically. And three dates in, she invited me back to her place. I was extremely nervous. I didn’t have much of a mental intention of being in a situation like that with her — but every possible physical one.
Dr. Date,
My girlfriend and I have been dating for a couple of years, but I’m not attracted to her — not like I once was.
She is smart, kind and completely committed to our relationship. She has also overcome some tough troubles, and I admire her strength. We share some of the same nerdy interests, which is awesome. We have a lot of fun when we hang out, and she’s so supportive. We have a deep emotional connection.
Dr. Date,
Over homecoming weekend, I hooked up with my friend who was visiting from home. (We never went further than third base.) It was pretty fun, and I have to admit that I was extremely drunk, but there is one problem with the situation: I have a girlfriend.
Dr. Date,
This summer, I saw this girl for about three months, and it ended in early August. It’s been a little over two months now, and I’m still having trouble getting over her.
This usually never happens. Usually after a relationship, when I date and hook up with a new girl (which I have done), I get over the ex-girlfriend immediately. It’s even worse because my friends and family were very happy for me to start a serious relationship.
Dr. Date,
Never in my life have I been the type of guy to compete for a girl’s attention — not until this semester, anyway. My two roommates and I are all smitten with the same girl who lives in our apartment complex.
Dr. Date,
My girlfriend is on the pill, and I wear a condom every time we get busy. Her roommates, friends and others we have talked to don’t use condoms. Neither of us have ever done it without a condom.
All I hear about is “condoms aren’t needed if the girl is on the pill” and “it feels so good” and “condoms plus the pill equals too much.” We are both clean and OK with me not wearing one, but we have not done it.
“Guy 1: “You’re being sassy!”
Guy 2: “No, YOU’RE being sassy!”
Guy 1: “Dude, you put the SASS in sassy!”
—Unknown
 
Professor: “We were invaded by Alaska. Never quote me on anything about history.”
—Tate Lab
 
Tour Guide: “Make sure you wave at the college students; they like the attention.”
—Unknown
 
“I nicked my nipple shaving with a picture.” 
—Middlebrook dining hall
 
Girl: “Oh my gosh!
 
Professor: “Sixty-five degrees and you guys act like oversexed teenagers!”
—STSS
 
Officer: “We’re gonna need more cars.”
—Dinkytown
 
Drunk guy being chased by riot police: “DUDE, I SAID NO TAGBACKS!”
—Unknown
 
“If we win, we riot. If we lose, we riot. If the U cancels Spring Jam over this, we riot.”
—Coffman Union
 
Person 1: “My son is taking medicine to increase his appetite since he’s such a picky eater.”
Person 2: “Oh, really? What is it, medical marijuana?”
—Walter Library
 
TA: “I was supposed to be studying, but instead, I just spent 10 minutes looking at cowboy boots on Etsy!”
—Unknown
 
Guest speaker: “A lot of what I’m saying here may or may not be true.”
 —Ecology class
 
Professor: “If anyone shares the exam questions, I will find you and cut you into pieces.”
—Moos Tower
 
Professor: “Don’t eat your crayons if you want to be a vegetarian.”
—Ruttan Hall
 
“Had like 10 things to post on ‘Overheard’ this semester, but I ain’t no snitch.”
 —Unknown
 
“What’s ‘earl sweatshirt?’”
Professor: “It’s the same with travel manuals and porn. I’d rather do it myself than watch someone else do it.”
—Nicholson Hall
 
Girl to her friend: “Hold on, I have to Instagram my first iced drink of 2014.”
—Starbucks
 
Girl: “Look! It’s soil! SOIL! We can plant things in it!”
 —McNeal Hall
 
Girl: “Guys! My piss was clear!”
—McDonald’s
“You talked a big game all week, and then you didn’t even show up to White Castle!”
—Amundson Hall
 
Guy 1: “Are we gonna make bro tanks for the trip?”
Guy 2: “No.”
Guy 1: “We’re wearing bro tanks on the trip.”
Guy 2: “If you wear a bro shirt, I will set you on fire.”
—Bio-Medical Library
 
Professor: “Nobody walks into a room naked. It’s not as exciting as a strip tease.”
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