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Dr. Date

Dr. Date
12/09/2008

In an attempt to respond to as many people as possible before the semester is out, I will be responding to an earth shattering FIVE letters today. I know, right? In turn, they will be short and sweet, but nobody reads this to hear what I say anyways… They just want to mock other people’s problems. Don’t look so innocent, get back to studying.

Dr. Date,

Dr. Date
12/08/2008

Love Doctor,

Dr. Date
12/07/2008

Dr. Date,
First of all, I think you gave some bad advice these past few weeks. All things aside, I really enjoy your column and have an issue of my own that I think you could help with.

Dr. Date
12/04/2008

Hey there Doc,

Dr. Date
12/03/2008

Hey Dr. Date,
So, I’ve read your column, like, every day since I set foot on this wonderful campus, but never would I have dreamed that I would be writing in to you for advice. So here is my problem: I'm a pretty shy gal, and I kind of realized recently that my feelings toward one of my guy friends might not be that simple. However, I feel that it is wrong for me to have this feeling, because I've known him for over a year and we're good friends.

Dr. Date
12/02/2008

Dr. Date,

Dr. Date
12/01/2008

Hey Dateopia, as I continue through the backlog of e-mails, please be patient. We got a lot of appointments in the Doctor’s office for this week, so stay tuned if you don’t see your letter right away. So, let’s get into day two of Thanksgiving leftovers:

Dearest Doctor of Dating,

Dr. Date
11/30/2008

Greetings, Earthlings. I hope you had a nice little break last week. A four-day weekend is a bit of a tease when you have to go back to school before winter break, but I’m here to help pass the time. Keep the letters coming over the next couple of weeks, and we’ll finish out strong.

Dr. Date,

Dr. Date
11/25/2008

Dr. Dizzate,
I am thinking about making a gesture to a more dedicated partnership with this wonderful girl that I have been courting. We love each other deeply, we are complementary and we’ve experienced a lot together. But I am not learned in these things and I am young. What is your advice? What are the signs that the one you are with is the one you might marry?
-Ze sharming sherman

Charmin,
I’ve heard that if you’re comfortable enough to poop in front of your partner, then you’re probably ready to get married. I’ll let you make your own call on that one though.

Dr. Date
11/24/2008

Yesterday, in an obvious effort to hide the fact that he has no submissions (while I, on the other hand, am swamped … keep it coming Dateopia!) Network offered the University his love advice services evidently hoping to ride my white coattails. To my semi-loyal readers who would consider straying, let me say this: I’m not going to stop you from going if you want. But asking Net for relationship help is like asking a desert cockroach for tips on your breast stroke: He has no idea what’s going on, but that doesn’t mean he can’t give you awful, awful, advice.