Dr. Date,
I’ve been dating this amazing girl for just over a month now, and we often see each other a few times a week. Our relationship has been nothing but great so far, and I’m excited to see where things are going.
The other day she told me I was “hard to read.” Typically, I wouldn’t mind a girl saying this to me, but this time I do. I don’t know if being “hard to read” is good or bad. I understand that being mysterious is beneficial in the early stages of a relationship, but is it already time to open up about my feelings and lead our relationship to a new level? Or do I take it easy and slowly let her find out about myself as if she was learning to read Old English Beowulf for the first time?
—I’m Not a Book
Lost in Translation,
She wants you to be more open. Yes, in the early stages of a relationship it’s fun to be a little mysterious — it’s all about the chase and ambiguity.
Then there comes a time when that sexiness wears away, and the “mystery,” or the vagueness, is annoying. She’s probably frustrated with trying to guess your feelings and decisions, so try opening up. Be honest and let her know your true feelings.
If you’re interested and you want this relationship to last, stop making her translate a dying language and give her something worth
reading.
—Dr. Date
Dr. Date,
Why is it that everyone else seems to have had at least one relationship by this point in life? I graduate in May, and I feel like I missed out on the college dating scene. I’ve hung out in libraries, frats and coffee houses. I try to put myself out there, but I never have any luck. Any tips?
—Anonymous
You’re Not in College Anymore, Toto.
Fear not; you’re entering a new dating game. Sure, the college dating scene is fun, but you’re entering a new world with more choices and an expanded terrain.
It can be tough to be single when everyone around you is in a relationship, but don’t compare yourself to them.
You have plenty of time to meet someone. Take my advice — look outside the college scene.
—Dr. Date
Dr. Date,
I recently broke up with my boyfriend, and he’s having a hard time with it. I ended things because I’m moving after I graduate in May, and I don’t want to deal with a long-distance relationship. It’s hard to watch him be upset because I obviously still love him, but I know it’s what is best for both of us.
And I don’t know where to draw the line with our communication. It would be impossible to completely cut him out because our lives are so woven together (we have the same friends, and we study the same major). I respond to his texts and calls, but I don’t want to be overly sympathetic or give him false hope that we could get back together. It’s strange to think that there’s no middle ground between boyfriend-girlfriend and acting like strangers. I want to keep him in my life.
—Gray Area
Time for Space,
If you care about him like you say you do, you need to give him space and time to heal. By keeping the communication open, you’re giving him false hope about the future. He’s holding on to the relationship, and though it’s tough, you need to cut ties for now.
But by the sounds of it, your friendship isn’t over. Over time, it’ll be easier to talk and hang out like friends. Right now just take a step back and give him space.
—Dr. Date
