Dr. Date,
I met a boy at Blarney’s last weekend, and we instantly hit it off. We have the same type of humor, and he’s really caring. But the thing is, he hasn’t reached out to me since that night. We exchanged numbers and Facebook contact information, but I haven’t heard a word.
I don’t know if I should contact him or wait to see if he tries to get a hold of me. I really like him, and I want to hang out with him more. What are your thoughts? I’ve talked to my friends about the issue, and they’ve given me mixed advice. Some say I should hold back and wait for him to make the first move, while others say I should just go for it.
—Should I Stay or Should I Go
Don’t Hold Back,
Go for it. By waiting, you’re wasting precious time that you could otherwise be spending with this boy, or someone else. Curb your curiosity, and make a move. A little bit of confidence can go a long way, and assertiveness can be attractive. If he reciprocates, you’ll know he’s interested and there’s room for developing a relationship. And if he doesn’t, move on. The worst you can do is stay silent and let time get the best of you.
—Dr. Date
Dr. Date,
I was involved in this really weird love triangle with my co-workers earlier this year. It didn’t end well for me, to say the least, and they’re together now.
I still have to communicate with her because we work together. So I’ve just been grinning and bearing it until the end of the semester, and I’ve been
basically ignoring the guy because he never apologized and I have no real reason to talk to him.
Recently, he confided in a mutual friend that he was upset that I don’t like him. He said he doesn’t understand why I ignore him and not her. I feel kind of bad that he’s upset, but I also don’t think I should do anything about it because of the way he treated me. And honestly, I don’t care to be friends with him again.
I also don’t want him talking to our friends about the situation. I just want to forget about the whole thing and move on with my life.
Should I confront him or just deal with it until graduation?
—Moving On
Time Is On Your Side,
You’ve made it this far, so a couple more weeks of staying silent shouldn’t be too hard. Sure, it might be awkward at times, but fortunately, you have the option of being the bigger person and acting appropriately. If you feel these two people truly hurt you, than you shouldn’t give them any more power with affecting your feelings. Like you said, it’s time to move on.
But understand — no one likes to be disliked, so he’s going to do everything in his power to get you on his side. Whether that’s talking to friends in your social circle
to understand more about the situation or trying to make conversations with you, he’s going to try his best to convince you that some sort of a friendship is worthwhile.
Think rationally, and don’t make any rude comments. The worst you can do is add fuel to the fire by keeping up with his gossip-seeking ways.
—Dr. Date
