Dr. Date,
There are two girls who like me, and I can also see myself dating both of them. I’m not sure who should be the object of my affection. I suppose I’ll start by listing their strengths and weaknesses:
Girl one:
• 22 years old (like me)
• Naughtier 😉
• More personality
Girl two:
• 18 years old
• Inexperienced when it
comes to the dating game
• Nicer
• Wifey type <3 <3 <3 🙂
Dr. Date, I’m so confused. This list confuses me sometimes. My friends have recommended that I date and sleep with them both multiple times before determining, but I question the ethics of that method (even though it sounds appealing). I’m completely conflicted with this situation; I sometimes wonder who I am.
—Anonymous
Hey Buddy,
I’ve got to say, you’re talking about these girls the same way someone would talk about whether or not he or she should get a PlayStation or an Xbox. That’s just plain gross.
We all make judgments based off of the information before us, but man, this seems a little overboard, and I think this frame of mind is why you’re facing this issue.
You need to step out of this dehumanizing mindset and step in to a world where you recognize that who you love, or even just who you have sex with, can’t be determined by a list. Trying to solve the situation by sleeping with both of them and then checking off the markers in your head — until one proves “better” than
the other — is just plain wrong.
You need to think long and hard about what you’re feeling. Meditate, take a walk, feel the midnight air and then see if you feel strongly about either of these women.
—Dr. Date
Dr. Date,
I’ve had a pretty long streak of not getting laid. I keep saying I’m barren, but that’s not true. I mean I’m 21; I still have time to have kids. I don’t know if I want to have kids, but that’s not the point.
Listen, I’m hot. I am really, really hot. But I feel like I pull back right before things start heating up. I came out of a horrible, possibly even abusive, relationship about a year ago, and I don’t know if I’m ready for a new partner — even for a night. But that doesn’t mean I’m not hella horny.
—To Lay Or Not To Lay
Listen To Your Instincts,
Hey soul sister, coming out of a really rough and maybe abusive relationship is tough, but getting back to the point where you can let another person into your life in that way, even just for a little while, can be even more difficult.
Don’t fight your instincts. Even if the guy or gal is the perfect partner, if you feel some personal reticence, you’ll likely feel horrible after the one night stand if you follow through.
And that’s OK because eventually you are going to get to a place where you can accept and give out the love and pleasure that you seek. I really hope you’re talking to someone about your feelings (besides me, a newspaper love doctor) because they might take a while to unwrap and understand. A therapist can be a
caring guide on that journey.
Nonetheless, no matter what you’ve gone through, it seems you’ve still got your sense of humor, and thank god for that.
—Dr. Date
