That’s so gay.

 

Just a few simple words, right? That’s so gay. Well as a gay man, I take offense.

 

We hear it all the time. On the street on the way to class, among friends, even in many places you might not expect. The word gay has made its way into the common lexicon as both an insult and synonym for something bad, stupid, or unwanted. And frankly, I am sick of it.

 

Many of us who identify with the queer community struggle for years with our identities. I personally grew up in a small town in east central Minnesota feeling largely isolated, often hating myself for not being like everyone else, and I am definitely not alone. In the United States, GLBT and questioning teens are four times more likely to attempt suicide than their straight counterparts. Forty percent of homeless teens in the United States identify as GLBT. In many countries in the world, being open about one’s sexuality is literally a death sentence.

 

As a community, we struggle for acceptance in big ways and in small. I’ll be the first to admit, that something as seemingly trite as a word is largely insignificant in the face of homelessness, death, and suicide, but it is an issue none-the-less. I don’t claim to speak for all queer people, but I know that it took me over twenty years to start to become comfortable in my own skin and proud of who I am, and while nothing is going to change that, it is still hard to hear such bigotry.

 

And it is bigotry. Words are much more powerful than many of us realize and while to say that something or someone is gay in a derogatory sense might just be words to some people, to others who might be their family or friends, or maybe just passing by, it means so much more.

 

So, next time you find yourself (or someone else) opening your mouth to utter that little three-letter word in a derogatory way, follow the advice we were always given growing up: Think before you speak. After all, that paper you are procrastinating on isn’t gay, I am.