Overheard around campus

“I hope he’ll get me a poster signed by Bob Barker saying, ‘Dear Andrew, Come on down! Love, Bob.’”

—Murphy Hall

“Come on, we are going to be late. Don’t make me pull out my rape whistle!”

—Coffman Union

“I wish my phone had a heat app.”

—Red Bull Crashed Ice

“This metal tastes like fork.”

—Campus Connector

‎”Neuroscience is like my wife, but language is like my mistress.”

—Linguistics class

(Talking about Ricky Rubio)

Girl 1: “I saw him at the Mall of America one time! He was with his girlfriend ...”

Girl 2: “He has a girlfriend?! How can he have a girlfriend when he can’t even speak English?!”

—Middlebrook dining hall

Girl: “I don’t want to go to the gym.”

Guy: “I don’t care. Jesus didn’t want to die on the cross.”

—Middlebrook Hall

‎”I feel like I’m in ‘World of Warcraft’ or something. I have so many quests to do.”

—Comstock Hall

Professor [experiencing technical difficulties]: “I’m worried that hell will be a rotating color wheel.”

—Murphy Hall

Professor: “And who is this attractive man, ladies?”

Guy: “It is David Beckham. You do not have to be a girl to appreciate him.”

—Anderson Hall

Professor: “A one by one matrix is really just ... a number ... in a box.”

—Calculus 4

Professor: “X to the two, multiplied by xy to the eight, divided by z to the y ...”

Girl: “What to the [expletive] are we doing?”

—Unknown

Guy 1 [smoking]: “Dude they should definitely legalize this.”

Guy 2: “Nah dude, I voted against it.”

Guy 1: “Why?”

Guy 2: “Well, there’s too many stupid people that shouldn’t smoke. I mean we are clearly not a drain on society like most other people.”

—Unknown