Overheard on Campus

“Today on okra: Plants search for their roots.”

—Plant propagation class

“I don’t know how many people spanked me, but I didn’t know all of them.”

—Ford Hall

“Yup, this certainly isn’t high school anymore. In high school, taking gum out is like pulling coke out in rehab.”

—Science Teaching and Student Services building

Guy 1: “I went to Mesa last night ...” 

Guy 2: “Me too!” 

Guy 1: “I don’t remember going!’ 

Guy 2: “Me neither!”

—Dinkytown

Guy 1: “Dude, the best thing is to just not text her at all this weekend.”

Guy 2: “Yeah, you’re right.”

Guy 1: “Well, not before you get drunk at least.”

—Recreation Center

Guy’s mom: “It smells like a hamster cage.”

—Frontier Hall

Girl: “I don’t know how to tweet when I’m drunk.”

—Kappa Sigma

I don’t usually steal organs, but when I do ...”

—Centennial dining hall

Girl: “For once in my life, I’m not naked.”

—Territorial Hall

“No one messes with a guy with a squirt gun, not in this weather.”

—Northrop Mall

Guy 1: “Dude, press the ‘request stop’ button.”

Guy 2: “What button?”

Guy 1: “This button [reaches over and presses the button so the sign lights up].”

Guy 2: “Oh, that’s pretty snazzy.”

—Campus Connector

”Is there a tunnel to West Bank?”

—Coffman bookstore

Guy: “Not my fault God gave me two heads and not enough blood to use them both at the same time.”

—The Cube

Guy 1: “Why don’t you like drinking coffee with sweetener?”

Guy 2: “Because I’m not a wimp.”

—Mechanical Engineering