Overheard around campus

Guy: “Why would there be a ghost in my fridge?”

—Northrop Mall

Girl 1: “I just found my true bra size!”

Girl 2: “Did you go up or down?”

Girl 1 [sighs]: “Down.”

—Bierman Place Apartments

Girl 1: “My roommate is convinced she has to learn how to drive a stick shift.”

Guy 1: “Why is that?”

Girl 1: “Because she believes it’s the only way to get away from an ax murderer...”

—Campus Connector

Guy 1: “I saw one of the front desk workers giving my underage neighbors alcohol last weekend.”

Guy 2: “Oh, I want to live there!”

Guy 1: “Trust me ... you don’t.”

—Bierman Place Apartments

Girl 1: ”Is it weird that my roommate is a nutrition major and all she eats is Spaghettios?” Guy 1: “Yeah…”

—Murphy Hall

Guy: “It was pathetic enough hearing someone talking about their five strengths, but then I realized they were flirting.”

—Campus Connector

Guy 1: “Money solves all my problems.”

Guy 2: “Not for me. Some of my professors don’t accept bribes.”

—Physics building

Guy 1: “I think I’m going to go urinate in here.”

Guy 2: “Good luck with that.”

Guy 1: “Thanks, I’ll need it.”

Guy 2: “Don’t fall in.”

Guy 1: “I usually do.”

Guy 2: “Well, swim for a bit then. It’s a good workout.”

—Moos Tower

Guy 1: “Would you have sex with your aunt if she was hot?”

Guy 2: “Dude, I’m not answering that question. That’s weird.”

Guy 1: “Let’s say she’s single, you have no cousins, and she’s between the ages of 20 and 25.”

Guy 2: “Then yeah dude, that’s barely incest.”

—Middlebrook dining hall

Girl: “I’m a grown woman, I don’t need protection.”

Guy: “Umm, that’s how babies are made.”

—Johnston Hall