Overheard around campus

Girl: “I’m thinking of going to the Galapagos.”
Guy: “I feel like the Galapagos is CBS’ Mecca.”
Girl: “It is. If I was a man, I’d have a raging boner just thinking about it.”
—Middlebrook Hall

Guy: “Oprah won’t stop emailing me! Or Good Housekeeping!”
—Willey Hall

Girl: “Wait, today’s Bob Marley’s birthday? I thought that was 4/20!”
Guy: “No, that’s just when a lot of people smoke pot...”
—Nicholson Hall

“It is one of at least 15 words in Latin for ‘I kill.’ Kind of like Eskimo words for snow.”
—Folwell Hall

“... well I couldn’t tell my mom the place where I shop the most is the liquor store.”
—Unknown

Guy 1: “Can I ask you for help?”
Guy 2: “Only if you use your Scooby Doo voice.”
—Keller Hall

“She’s like one milkshake away from being diabetic.”
—Campus Connector

Guy 1: “So if people in Territorial Hall live in T-Hall, does that mean we live in M-Hall?”
Guy 2: “No, dude, that’s just weird. Middlebrook is too sophisticated for that.”
—Middlebrook dining hall

“Dude, if I get that drunk, I’m definitely going to take my pants off.”
—Washington Avenue

Guy 1 [referring to the Puppy Bowl]: “The one puppy got three touchdowns!”
Guy 2: “Yeah but the other one who got M.V.P. got two touchdowns, and his defense was insane!”
—Fraternity house

Guy 1 [on phone]: “Hey, it’s Safer Sex Week. Getting three stamps on your blueprint can get you 25 assorted specialty condoms!”
[Guys 2 and 3 overhear Guy 1]
Guy 2: “Look at him. He thinks getting 25 condoms can get him laid.”
Guy 3: “Look at you talk about wanting to get laid. Last time you got a condom you stole chemicals from some lab and started testing for properties of latex.”
—Unknown