Overheard around campus

“My dad is really old ... he’s 50.”

—Campus Connector

Girl: “What should I wear on Saturday? I was thinking about wearing a wedding dress, but I don’t want us to accidentally match. That would be embarrassing!” 

Guy: “You think I’m going to wear a dress?” 

Girl: “A wedding dress. Yes, I did think that was a possibility.” 

Guy: “Wait, are you kidding, or are you seriously concerned that I am going to wear a dress this weekend?!”

—Murphy Hall

“The scientific method does not have time for people’s problems or their inability to do experiments.”

—Biological Sciences Center

Professor: “What foods cause you to have headaches?”

Student: “Vodka!”

—Food science lecture

[Guy 1 talking to guy 2 in lecture]

Guy 3: “This is going to sound crazy, but I am not paying hundreds of dollars for this class to hear you talk about what you ate last night. Please kindly shut up.”

Girl 1: “Yeah shut up!”

—Tate Laboratory

“Health-care spending jumps because, you know, old people …”

—Peik Hall

“We’re going to get Jimmy John’s and study at Augsburg because it’s nice over there.”

—Middlebrook Hall

Girl 1: “I wish I could walk and drink at the same time.”

Girl 2: “Lisa, that’s something alcoholics wish for.”

—Starbucks

“There’s a caucus in the Whole.”

—Coffman Union

“I didn’t know what to put for the little thingamajigger so I just put poop.”

—Unknown

Guy 1 [singing The Police]: “Don’t stand so, don’t stand so close to me.”

Guy 2: “I should totally play that song when I’m on a Connector.”

—Applebee’s