Overheard on Campus

“Brands are important. Pamela Anderson’s got a brand. Paris Hilton’s got a brand. ... In fact, they can both be found on the same movie shelf.”

—Murphy Hall

Girl 1: “So should I worry about them? Because I’m tired of worrying.”

Girl 2: “Don’t worry. Worries mean wrinkles, and wrinkles mean money. And who has money to waste on dummies?”

—St. Paul campus

“Me and flowers don’t get along. I can barely stand a dandelion.”

—Bailey Hall

Girl 1: “Piggyback ride! Where are your hips?”

Girl 2: “Right here where they should be!”

—Dinkytown

“I was going to study for the o-chem test last night … but then I just smoked a bunch of weed instead.”

—Smith Hall

“That equation had a whole bunch of sigmas and chis in it. It’s like a little fraternity sitting under a square root sign!”

—Plant Growth Facilities

Guy: “I think all babies are moderately ugly.”

—Espresso Expose

Drunken guy 1: “Get up.”

Drunken guy 2: “You’re stupid.”

Drunken guy 1: “I’m stupid? I’m not the one wearing one shoe laying drunk on the [expletive] floor in a building of a school I don’t go to.”

—Moos Tower

Child: “Can we sit upstairs?”

Dad: “Do you really want to do that? I mean, there could be someone up there that wants to kill you, like with a knife.”

Kid: “I really want to sit upstairs.”

Dad: “I don’t know … try it I guess, but there might be someone up there that’s going to stab you.”

—McDonald’s

“They’ve been dropping food down the staircase on different occasions, and there’s no stopping them.”

—Comstock Hall

Girl 1: “He was wearing a spiked collar and spiky clothes and stuff. He looked like Bowser.”

Girl 2: “You would know something like that, the names of Pokemon and stuff.”

—Coffman Union