> Dear Dr. Date,
Depressed Boy, here. I don't know if you recall my letter from fall semester 2007, but I think I've changed quite a bit since then.
You see, before, I had trouble letting go of my ex-girlfriend, and I must say it killed me. All it took was my old best friends from high school and a little encouragement to finally let her go, though.
This summer has been a blast, but here's the problem: three of my best buds are attached to girls now. Instead of being the pimps/players they used to be, they've given up on all other women! Both of them want to be "a one-woman man."
The only thing that upsets me is that when I was in a relationship, my friends would be out there having fun with many girls. Now it's the other way around.
I suppose it doesn't bother me much, but what am I supposed to do when I need a wingman, now? Who is supposed to be the dude watching my back at the club?
I'm losing my boys, Doc. Don't get me wrong, I'm definitely happy for them. I'm just upset because right as I've finally gotten over the heartbreak and as I'm ready to be out there having fun again they are doing the complete opposite.
How do you think I should go about this situation? Do you think I should get into the dating game again?
Heavens, yes, get back in the game. Fall is coming and I need lots of letters to keep me in business. So even if it's just for that reason, go ahead and take another chance on love.
In regard to the loss of your wingmen, I suggest you watch the classic movie "Top Gun" and do the same thing the pilot in that situation had to do: let go of his wingman. Toss your buddy's dog tags into the ocean, my friend, (twice, in this case) and then jump it off the deck and shove it into overdrive.
Time for the highway to the dating zone.
Have you seen that movie? If you have, you know what the pilot called "Maverick" did in that film: he got himself a new wingman.
An experienced and loyal wingman is of great value. Explain your dilemma to some other male associates. They might be looking for wingmen, too. But if worse comes to worse, you'll just have to go solo and risk getting shot down.
There are tradeoffs to the "wingman" dating strategy. On the one hand, a wingman serves as living proof that at least one other human being wants to hang out with you - so maybe you might be dating material.
On the other hand, you might look like someone who has never taken the training wheels off your bicycle.
Also, keep this in mind: When you do find that special girl, you might be able to rejoin your squadron and all hang out together as committed couples.
Dear Dr. Date,
So here's the deal. I meet this woman. We're staffers here at the University. Over the course of a few weeks we get chatting over this 'n' that, find common ground, go for walks at lunch, have a few laughs and enjoy each other's company. She asks me out and I say "sure."
Long story short, we're on the way out to where we're going and she says, "Well, you know this isn't serious, right?"
It's safe to say I was taken aback. It seemed all was cruising nicely toward a fine little thing going on. For the record, we had a great night out until 1 a.m. and I even got some tongue.
Alas, I now feel confused and probably hurt, too. I'm not going to ask why she made that decision so quickly.
Can you give me a tangible read on this, Doc?
Well, here's the first possibility. You fell for a crafty trick to test whether your intentions were serious. Being sad and wishing the relationship could be serious is, in that case, the right reaction. If that's the case, she'll come fluttering back like a butterfly.
Second possibility: She sees dating as a prelude to a lifelong commitment. And you said or did something which suddenly eliminated you as lifelong commitment material.
Since I've gone all summer without a top 10 list (nobody was begging for one) let me wrap up summer by throwing one at you, buddy.
Do you recall saying anything along these lines?
1.) You know, I really don't know why I never seem to have any money.
2.) Yeah, I'll be down in a second. Just let me take my medication so I won't (fill in the blank).
3.) Me? Oh, I'm voting for (fill in the blank).
4.) Seriously, people at my church think handling the snakes is a sign of piety. Hardly anybody gets bitten.
5.) Yeah, when it comes to children, I think I'd like to (fill in the blank)
6.) Yeah, when it comes to pets, I consider myself pretty much a (fill in the blank) person.
7.) A gun in the house? Well, the way I feel about that is (fill in the blank).
8.) As far as where I'd like to live the rest of my life, it's my dream to (fill in the blank).
9.) In regard to that particular social issue which makes even best friends throw plates at each other, I can easily stake out my position, and it is (fill in the blank).
10.) Here's my place. So, what do you think?
Do yourself a favor and don't rack your brain. No sense brooding about what wasn't mean to be. Don't think of it as a failure, but rather a pleasant form of practice. The right girl will come along. Just keeping being the right man.
Dear Dr. Date,
My girlfriend and I have decided to wait until we are married to have sex. But this doesn't mean we don't do pretty much everything else. My qualm is that when we are "entertaining" each other, my girlfriend is grossed out by the bodily fluids.
This is not that big of a problem, but it means she doesn't like to perform fellatio. In fact, of all the time we have been going out (approximately one year), I've gotten no more than a minute or two of oral pleasure.
Her aversion doesn't stop at my bodily fluids. She is grossed out by her own. She usually doesn't even want to kiss me after cunnilingus, either. This is not really that big of a problem, but I was wondering if you had any advice on the subject.
Being grossed out is sometimes a sign of an inexperienced sex partner. For now, just keep practicing. Write me in a few months.