Dear Dr. Date,
I have been dating this wonderful guy for the past year and a half. He has been there for me through everything, and I donâÄôt know what IâÄôd do without him. Recently, we have been going through a few rough patches here and there but nothing that really worries me.
Then at the beginning of the semester, I met this guy. He is super sweet and we just have this chemistry going on. He goes out of his way to sit by me and talks to me about everything. I am not going to lie, I do find him attractive and I sometimes flirt with him without noticing it.
I am confused about where these feelings are coming from. Is it wrong to have feelings for someone else while in a relationship? Is it technically cheating?
âÄîTempted By The Fruit Of
Dear But The Truth Is Discovered,
Every couple has rough patches, and looking for something better is a natural part of every relationship, so you shouldnâÄôt feel guilty. The fact that youâÄôre worried about your unintentional flirting is a good thing âÄî it means youâÄôre not cold-hearted. If the rough times with your man continue, it may be time to act. But donâÄôt give up on him and move to this classroom sweetheart just because heâÄôs new and exciting.
Dear Dr. Date,
IâÄôve suddenly found myself attracted to someone of the same gender. IâÄôve never had feelings like this before. Previously, I have only been into women, and I have only been in two relationships, one of which was long term.
IâÄôve known my friend was gay since shortly after we met a year ago. IâÄôve never considered myself bicurious nor have I even been interested in having a same-sex relationship until now.
But we share similar interests and passions; our personalities compliment each other. One day a few weeks ago it was snowing really badly, and I was on my way back from visiting the hospital where my much-loved and cancer-addled grandmother was.
Due to the poor conditions, I called the guy up looking for a place to crash while the storm raged on. We ended up having a really long talk since I was in a somewhat weakened emotional state due to family concerns and school and career-related issues.
It turned into him hugging me real close and then cuddling me when I most needed it âÄî and I am not the kind of person who just lets anyone hold me. Flash forward another few weeks and we find ourselves deciding to be in a relationship, something I NEVER dreamed would happen in my life.
I told my best friend about this, which was the most difficult thing IâÄôve had to do in my life, but he was cool and accepting. Beyond talking to him about it, IâÄôm just not sure what I should do.
What advice would you give to someone who had always been straight but now is suddenly romantically involved with someone of the same gender? Surely I canâÄôt be the only person on this campus who has been in a bicurious situation like this.
Dear DonâÄôt Get Grounded,
This is the way sexuality works. Things change and you should be open to that change. Try not to worry about how you should approach this new facet of your life, and just enjoy the new and exciting relationship.