Dear Dr. Date,
Take a look at my chart, and tell me what you think.
Background: Been together almost four years, have a ton in common, living together, have a totally honest and supportive relationship.
Symptoms: There’s a complete lack of romance on his part. I keep trying to inspire him with surprises, gifts, sacrifices for his sake and having honest conversations about it. Yet nothing changes. I’ve just heard one too many “I’ll make it up to you’s.” I feel awful for getting jealous when I see other couples doing nice things for each other, because it’s not that he’s a bad guy by any means. It just makes me feel like I’m not worth the effort, or he doesn’t often think about what would really make me happy. For example, I feel like it shouldn’t be like pulling teeth to get him to have sex with me.
I just want to feel wanted and special to him. So how can I express this to him without it sounding like harsh criticism?
Dear Baby Blue,
Diagnosis: On top of the blue ovaries, this problem speaks to a whole host of emotional issues within your relationship. Lack of libido strikes couples who are well into their granny panty-wearing years, but it looks like it can happen to young folks, too. Don’t get your thong in a twist though — there’s a possibility that there’s something up with him physically. Medical issues often assault our sex drives. So this might not even be about you. It might be about his bod or some boring, deep-seated emotional thing.
If you’ve noticed a steady downward trend — and if he used to love rolling around with you — it probably isn’t medical. Your relationship is probably just on its way out, and it doesn’t matter how many sacrifices you make. The end is nigh if the end is nigh.
Prescription: You don’t want to sound like you’re criticizing him, so don’t make it about him — make it about a problem that you both have together. And he might want to see a doctor. A medical one, I mean.
Dear Dr. Date,
This isn’t as much of a problem as it is a missed connection. Last Thursday evening around 5:30 p.m. at Centennial dining hall, I caught the eye of a gorgeous red-head near the back of the hall behind a window. She was eating alone, had a nose ring and had on a sweater and tights. Now I was wondering if you could do me a solid and publish this so she would know I’d like to meet her for coffee Saturday around noon at Espresso ExposÃ©. I need your help, Doc!
You heard the man, Miss Sweater and Tights. Head on over to the double Exp. for a little rendezvous.
Dear Dr. Date,
I am falling for a boy. The problem is we are both players. I would be willing to quit the game for him, but I’m not sure if he feels the same. I want to ask him, but I don’t want to scare him off. I’d like to keep him around even if it isn’t exclusive. What do I do?
This one’s for you:
Dr. Date’s Tips on How to Get the Player to Quit the Game:
1. Blow the whistle — but don’t blow it too hard. Be coy in letting him know you’re interested in being exclusive. Never come right out and say it. Players know how players play, and he’ll be able to catch what you’re pitching even if you don’t spell it out on the Jumbotron.
2. Make sure the bench is really warm for him — why is being with you exclusively better than being with you inclusively? If he can have you and every other girl, why would he limit himself to just you? What makes you the MVP? What will be different about exclusivity?
3. Take a time-out — what about him makes you want to retire? Make sure this guy is super special. Talk it over with your coaches, draw up some play-by-plays and make sure he’s what you really want. After all, playing doubles can sometimes be the quickest way to lose the love game.