Dear Dr. Date,
My roommate/friend and I are gay and have a platonic friendship between us. Over the course of nearly two years of knowing him, he’s been “dating” the same guy. I say dating in quotes because my roommate isn’t exactly honest with his man. So far he’s hung out and hooked up with his ex a few times (he says his ex is his best friend, and I see them texting almost every day), brought over a few other guys, trolled around on dating sites (his profile says he is “looking for whatever”) and generally is not honest.
I have no idea how to approach this subject. His lack of principle in this area really bothers me. Why would he keep leading his supposed boyfriend down this path of lies — and furthermore, how can the boyfriend be so oblivious to it all? They’ve been dating nearly two years now!
Why would he do this, and is there anything I can do without being too nosey about his business?
—Dan D. Lion
Dear Danny Boy,
So, you’ve found yourself between a cock and a hard place. While I find it noble that you care so much about the moral integrity of your roommate’s boyfriend, it makes me wonder — are you harboring feelings for one of these fellas in the mix? If so, that is a whole big, nasty can of worms that I have no interest in tackling here. With the gentlemen you’ve listed, that makes this at least a love hexagon. I’m a doctor — not a mathematician.
I wish I could give you a straight answer about why your roomie is knee-deep in extracurricular affairs, but that is between him and his bevy of lovers. You could ask him about it if it’s really bothering you, but Miss Piggy and Pinocchio have a hard enough time with their large shnozes (it’s a hard look to pull off). I would keep your big nose to yourself on this one. Lucky for you, this ain’t yo problem!
I’m kinda just wondering what your opinion is on this one. I’m curious about anal sex, but before trying it, I thought, “Who better to ask about this than the good doctor?” So do you have any advice before I enter the new and exciting world of anal sex?
I’m so glad you asked about this one. My professional opinion is this: Use every crevice of your body to its maximum pleasure capacity. My personal opinion is this: It’s not for everybody.
I think using the good ole cornhole for a romp in the hay shouldn’t be taken lightly. I’d save it for a committed relationship with someone you actually like.
I can’t go into the dirty details here, but lucky for you, the Internet is a vast resource of butt sex info. Google away young one. Helpful hint: Take off safe search.
I had been in a dry spell for well over a year, and then all of a sudden, the hotties are banging down my door! Sounds great right? WRONG.
I have three amazing bachelors vying for my attention, and I can’t choose which one best deserves my rose.
Is it bachelor No. 1, the less-than-intellectual sweetie?
Is it bachelor No. 2, the passionate graduate student?
Or is it bachelor No. 3, the aloof-but-extremely-hot barista?
How long can I keep my three dream guys in limbo before I become a lying cheat? Help!
—Luck Be A Lady
Dear Crazy Lady,
Wow, what a difficult issue. I feel soooo bad for you and your really serious issue. I bet all your single friends love hearing about your problems, too. Are you catching my tone here lady? You’ve got the world’s best problem to have, and you know it.
Congratulations — you’ve somehow managed to find the three most wonderful guys ever. Keep dating all three of them if you want. Don’t make it seem like it’s an exclusive relationship if it’s not. Eventually, the winner will stand out. Happy trails.