Dear Dr. Date,
I hope your Valentine’s Day was rad. Mine was pretty great.
I basically just hung out with my girlfriend all day, and we made food together and watched movies because we’re lazy like that, but it was still a really relaxing way to spend time with someone I care about. Altogether, it was really cute.
Here’s the hitch, though. My girlfriend had never had anyone go down on her before, and she wanted Valentine’s Day to be her first time. I was totally down for it, and it was a really nice way for her to show she trusted me.
So we, you know, did that and it went really well. So well, in fact, that she had me do it three more times over the next few hours.
Anyway, now she’s texting me nonstop about how she basically just wants me to give her head all the time. I love making her feel good, but I just don’t know if I can keep up with this. You have to help me out, Doc.
It sounds to me like you should maybe just talk to your sweet angel. It’s great that you’re meeting the basic standard of decency by reciprocating, but she probably is just caught up in enjoying a whole new world she didn’t know about before. And by “whole new world,” I mean “your face in a new place.”
Just let her know that you just need a little more space between rounds. Even scuba divers need to come back up for air once in a while, no matter how dope the ocean is.
And, hey, maybe the uptick in your bedroom responsibility will translate to a little extra action from her. Bless.
I’ve got a bit of a problem. My scumbag ex is, by many accounts, pretty terrible. He cheated on me while we were together at least once that I know about, he was really mean to my friends and he was always wishy-washy with plans we made. I’m really not a fan of him.
There’s one main issue, though. When I go out to parties or bars and get a little tipsy, then you can guess who I usually end up calling to spend the night with. I’ve maybe hooked up with my ex a dozen times in the past couple months, and there’s no sign of stopping. I really want to, considering he’s terrible and all, but I keep coming back to him for physical needs.
I’m judging myself for it, and you best believe my friends give me the side-eye whenever they see me doing it, so it’s in my best interest to stop. I just need help.
It’s a tale as old as time … well, as old as old as technology that made it easy to drunkenly hit up someone. There were probably people in, like, the 1600s who still sent notes tied to messenger falcons that said, “U up?”
Step one is realizing the problem, so high-five for that. Step two is not being too hard on yourself. Clearly this guy had a few things — or one specific thing — that you didn’t mind so much, otherwise you wouldn’t be thinking of him. All you have to do now is step three, which is mostly about creating a supportive climate for yourself to avoid hotline bling-ing him.
Be conscious about your self-control when it comes to drinking and needing physicality. There’s probably a lot of people at your wild parties and bars, so why not consider hitting them out? Or, like, just do things the old fashioned way: Get a Tinder, meet a nice boy and settle down. Just like our grandparents did it.