Dear Dr. Date,
It’s what every girl dreams of — being stuck in a f*cking airport for two days. I was trying to fly out of Houston last week when a major storm hit and grounded any hopes I had of getting home for 48 hours. After eight cancelled flights and multiple depression naps on airport seats, I gave up hope on finding any happiness during this hell of a trip.
That is, until I met him. Straight out of a terrible rom-com, I met a guy who was on the same original flight as me. We ended up striking up a conversation and talking for six hours. When he invited me up to his complimentary hotel room (thanks, United!) so I wouldn’t have to sleep on the floor, I knew it was love. Needless to say, we didn’t get much rest before we took our red-eye flight at 4 a.m., where we slept in each other’s arms before sneaking off to join the mile-high club.
When he kissed me goodbye before taking his connecting flight, I knew I wanted this to be more than a fling. The problem? He actually lives in Russia, and told me it would be too difficult to keep up a long-distance relationship. But absence makes the heart grow fonder, and I’m convinced he’s the one for me. How do I get my foreign man to see that our love (and sex) is worth the delays?
Love is in the Air
Dear Love is in the Air,
Alas, just like a terrible rom-com, sometimes it just isn’t meant to be. Time for you both to move on, look at the selfie you took together fondly and send a few letters back and forth. Maybe in 30 years you’ll find each other again and fall in love.
But seriously — Russia?! The plane ticket price alone is insane. No sex is worth THAT much. Get on Tinder and set your radius to 50 miles away if you’re feeling adventurous. Otherwise, mourn what you two had together and hope you never get stuck for two days in the airport again.