Dear Dr. Date,
My boyfriend and I have been dating for a few months now. We met through mutual friends during a spring break trip in Texas. Even though we go to different colleges, I just couldn’t envision life without him, so we made long distance work. As fate would have it, he lives just one town over, so we’ve spent everyday together this summer. With the new school year fast approaching, we want to go on one last trip before we have to say goodbye again.
My dream trip is to the sandy beaches of Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, for a romantic getaway that rekindles the magic we found on the beaches of South Padre Island during that unforgettable spring break. My boyfriend was totally on board with the plan and we even booked our resort and flight. Sounds fantastic, right?
Yesterday, my boyfriend came to me and told me we needed to change our plans immediately. He said there was an adventure of a lifetime waiting for us in the wide-open landscape of Nevada. He kept saying we have the chance to be a part of history, and that the American people needed our help. I overheard a conversation he had with his best friend about “taking down those scumbag aliens.” What is he talking about? I looked up the location he was talking about and it says there is nothing there, just a military base? I’m so confused. Should we change our plans? This seems so important to him, but we have everything already booked for my dream trip to Mexico. What should I do?
The Alienated Lover
Dear Alienated Lover,
First of all, a trip to Area 51 (that’s what he’s talking about, by the way), wouldn’t be so bad. You could turn it into a quasi-romantic road trip marked by endless discussions over whether or not aliens really did land in a cornfield in New Mexico in 1947. It could be an opportunity to get to know each other — how can you call someone your boyfriend without knowing his deepest, darkest thoughts about aliens?
Answer: you can’t.
Let me also point out that deciding where to go on vacation is a two-way street. If he’s not able to listen to your ideas, that’s not a great predictor for future matrimonial harmony. At the same time, though, you have to listen to his thoughts.
I think your bigger worry might be something else: why are he and his best friend pledging their allegiance to “taking down those scumbag aliens” in the interest of helping the American people? It sounds to me like you might have some bigger questions to answer. Maybe you can find them locked away in Area 51.