Dear Dr. Date,
I met this guy through mutual friends a few weeks ago. He’s obviously super into me, and I’m pretty into him, enough to let him ask me on a few dates. Problem? He’s kind of an asshole. It’s like he’s straight out of a bad teen movie — he’s smoking cigarettes and talking shit about people one moment, then doing something super sweet like bringing me soup when I’m sick like 10 minutes later. High school, much?
I like him and want to go out more, but the longer we spend together the more I realize his asshole-ness can be taken out on me sometimes. Just minor things, like him making a smart remark when I say something a little obvious, but it still hurts my feelings. I don’t know if I’m overreacting or if this is a red flag, and he wants to go out next week, so I should decide soon.
What should I do?
Dear Okay, Maybe?
Look, being kind of an asshole can definitely be a turn-on for some, but it sounds like it’s not for you. Don’t date a guy who will make you feel bad for innocuous remarks — next, you’ll say you like flowers, and he’ll talk about how they die in a week. If you really want to date this dude, bring up how you feel and see what happens, but also know that you can’t get people to change their entire personality. Sometimes there’s just not much you can do, and you’re way too good to sit there and take some stupid remarks from guys who still smoke cigarettes (it’s 2019, people!!!!).