Dear Dr. Date,
My boyfriend and I have always had that “rich older man dating the hot young college student” relationship, except my boyfriend is like 25 while I’m 19. One of the best things about him is that he has a real-world job and has always made a point to pay for my expenses when we’re together: dates, big gifts, groceries, etc. I’m broke all the time and he wants to do fancier things than I can afford, so we think it’s fair. Plus, the dude makes like $200k a year, so he could pay my tuition if he wanted to!
However, there are a few problems. For one thing, I checked his email only to see he’s apparently on Seeking Arrangement, a site to find (or be) a sugar baby. I got suspicious, so I grabbed his phone while he was in the shower to see that he’s been sending thousands of dollars to random girls! Needless to say, I was pissed, so I confronted him about it. I was expecting him to yell — instead, he offered to cover more and more of my expenses, including my rent!
Dr. Date, I’m lost. I really like him (and his money), but I feel a little weird about him sending me checks randomly. I feel like he’s just in it for the sex and company... Is it worth the cash?
Seeking a Daddy?
Dear Seeking a Daddy,
Look, I’m not going to kink-shame, so if your thing is being spoiled by an older man, go for it. (We can’t all be hit by a University bus to pay tuition, right?) But, it is a problem that he didn’t tell you about it. It weirds me out that you guys appeared to be in a relationship but he only seems to treat you like a sugar baby. Make sure you DTR and decide if it’s a deal breaker for him to be spoiling other women — do what you want in your relationship, but make sure you’re both agreeing on it. Don’t be afraid to stand your ground on this, even if it does mean a financial hit. The thought of every expense being covered sounds amazing, but do you really want to be in a relationship with a guy who doesn’t want the same things as you AND is openly cheating on you with multiple women?