Dear Dr. Date,
My boyfriend and I are pretty similar, but we have a major difference when it comes to holidays. If this were an episode of Friends, I’m Monica, the one who makes a ton of food and loves hosting people. He’s Chandler, the one who vehemently opposes Thanksgiving and disheartens everyone at the table. But unlike Chandler’s childhood trauma, my boyfriend’s hatred of Turkey Day is a new thing — apparently he had some awful food at last year’s Friendsgiving and threw up for three days, so he now hates everyone who enjoys the holiday.
That would be me and my family. See, we’ve been dating for a long enough time that my mom invited him to his first family holiday with us: Thanksgiving. I said yes for him, assuming that he could get over his stupid phobia for an event important to me. NOPE. He threw a fit and is refusing to go, saying “he doesn’t trust my family" and "celebrating food is lame."
Look, I don’t think I’m asking for much. How can I get my boyfriend in the holiday spirit and over to my parents’ place?
The One Where My Boyfriend is an Asshole
Dear The One Where My Boyfriend is an Asshole,
Wow, what a name. Don’t get me wrong, this is something you’re allowed to be upset about, but think about it from your boyfriend’s point of view for a second. He has some trauma (at least that’s how he would probably describe it) from a recent Thanksgiving and instead of finding a compromise or discussing it more, you told your parents he would celebrate anyway without asking. Now if he cancels, your parents will probably be a little bitter, and he’ll look bad.
You do have a point, but I’m not sure you could change his mind. Some people just don’t celebrate certain holidays and even if the reason seems a little ridiculous, it sounds like he would bring the whole mood down if he attended. If he really doesn’t want to go, try asking your parents if he could come for Christmas or New Years?