Dear Dr. Date,
I’ve never been shy about my sex life, so when my friends and I decided to take the Rice Purity test (a quiz that gives you a score based on how much you’ve done in the bedroom), I went ahead and showed everyone my results — including my boyfriend. The test only gives you a number and doesn’t show what you checked off, so I didn’t think it would be that big of a deal, especially because my score was fairly average.
However, when my boyfriend saw my score, he told me it was much higher than he expected, so I retook it in front of him to show him what I’ve done. I thought it was going to turn into a slut-shaming thing, but instead, he told me we should check some of the more “risque” things off the list. I was interested ... until he elaborated.
By risque, he means crazy! He was talking orgies, having sex in public, joining the mile high club, you name it. He’s already made plans to complete the “paid for a sexual act” option and won’t elaborate. Now I’m worried the next time I walk into his room, someone else will be in there to join! I’ve told him I’m uncomfortable with this, but he said I need to try new things. What should I do?
More Pure Than I Thought
Dear More Pure Than I Thought,
Look, trying out new fantasies is great and all, but this is getting a little insane. Seriously, bestiality and incest are also on the Rice Purity test...
Hopefully that’s a little too extreme, but communication and consent are especially important in the bedroom. If he wants to try something new, you both need to come to a conclusion about it together, instead of him finding open orgies on Craigslist. If he is still forcing you into this, he is not someone you want to waste your time with — there may not be a “broke up with someone who didn’t respect me” on the test, but it’s a personal achievement!