Chance Wellnitz


After Election Day, it’s time to take a breath

If there’s one thing that everybody can agree on, it’s that this election season couldn’t end sooner. Well, I’m happy to report that when you wake up on Wednesday, it’ll all be over.

We need to look for understanding and progress, not applause

I grew up on “The Daily Show” — coming from a conservative small town, Jon Stewart was, to me, a voice of reason, and he provided a welcome counterbalance to Bill O’Reilly barking across the living room every afternoon when I came home from school. Like many people my age, “The Daily Show” and “The Colbert Report” were my only news sources and quickly shaped my worldview.

New sick note policy is ill

Great news, scammers! The University will review its sick note policy, and if Boynton Health gets their way, students will no longer need notes for one-time illnesses, like a cold or the flu.

Expecting respect isn’t censorship

Last week, I wrote a column discussing the lack of “pro-wall” voices in the coverage of the College Republican’s defaced “Build the Wall” mural on the Washington Avenue Bridge.

May I ask, why should we build that wall?

By now some readers may be sick of seeing yet another column or story discussing the Washington Avenue Bridge “Build the Wall” mural and its subsequent defacement as well as President Kaler’s unsurprisingly noncommittal response.

No guilt in “guilty pleasures”

The phrase “guilty pleasure” has always been a bit of a misnomer because there’s rarely any actual guilt associated with whatever it’s attached to.

A step forward, or a step to the side?

When searching for an apartment near campus, a person is often forced to choose between two extremes — do they go with the cheaply-built, yet ornately-furnished apartment that’s split between eight Bacardi-binging underclassmen?

Goodbye to language

Pistanthrophobia is the fear of trusting people due to negative past experiences. However, you won’t find the word or its definition in any legitimate dictionary; you’ll only find it on Tumblr.

Dismantling the degree factory

Based on the thousands of caps and gowns at last spring’s graduation ceremonies, you’d hardly guess that as recently as the ‘90s the University of Minnesota had a four-year graduation rate of only 15 percent — the lowest rate of Big Ten schools.